h2o Combustion
by Leftywrite
Summary: [Typos hopefully fixed in all the chapters; read for a refresher sense. ;)] okies, folks! Time for a mixed creation from Leftywrite and aiyah. The rating's mostly for innuendo. the story features two hawain exchange students Hogwarts.
1. Prologue: Juice, Vodka, & Peach Schnapps

h2o COMBUSTION  
  
authors: "aiyah" and "Leftywrite"  
  
rating: R (innuendos, some of the delish stuffs, the usual)  
  
disclaimer:  
We are two sisters who can write  
And if you copy, there will be a fight  
Dear Rowling owns Harry Potter  
But if you copy what you shouldn't ought'er  
You shall never see day's light.  
  
spoilers: up to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire... until further informational tidbits may be gleaned. (this Might include some stuff in Order of the Phoenix... hard to tell, just yet.)  
  
summary: Okai, folks! Time for a mixed creation from aiyah and Leftywrite. The rating's mostly for innuendo. The story features one dark and handsome French guy, a Bulgarian, and two beautiful Hawaiian exchange students @ Hogwarts. Guess what ensues? READ!!  
  
We are aiyah and Leftywrite. And unless you want to be stuck in the Left's creative blender and run over by aiyah's muses (in cleats...with heart- aiming spoons and smug lions with Ultimate Frisbees...), then we suggest that you sincerely stop whatever copying you were even thinking of starting.  
  
Hei, if you weren't, enjoy the fic! (  
  
A/N = aiyah;;;LN=Leftywrite  
  
~*Fic starts here*~  
  
The Prologue: Cranberry and Orange Juice, Vodka, and Peach Schnapps  
  
A bar. Wonderful, gossipy things always happened in bars, didn't they?  
  
{Amazing how dirty such an innocent little pub can get at night,} thought a tall, dark-robed wizard as he quietly sipped a shot of Ogden's Firewhiskey. {And yet, my night seems to be lacking something at the moment. But what??}  
  
A thin, willowy blonde caught sight of him from across the pub. Alyssa was busy nursing a glass of sherry when she caught sight of the shadowy and mysteriously dashing man at the other side of the pub. MMmmm.........she always did go for the tall, dark, and handsome type. Though, his nose might be a tad on the large side, but who really cared about those things? He simply Reeked of power. The black, sexy kind of power that she just HAD to have. He was soooooo delicious. He was so cute, being all scowly. He was--- he was heading right towards her?  
  
"Madam, I usually don't ask this, but may I buy you a drink?"  
  
{What AM I doing??} thought the tall, dark, and handsome man, silently scolding himself. {Just because some amazingly gorgeously pretty girl is in the surrounding pub does Not mean that I have to buy her a drink. That's what Potter and Black do, not me. I never do these things. In fact, I'm not doing it. I'm just going to turn around and go right back to -- }  
  
"I'd love one," purred Alyssa. For heaven's sake, what had come over her? He was probably going to spike whatever poisonous alcohol he was going to buy her, and take her somewhere isolated where he would...do very naughty things to her that she might enjoy. Oh Merciful ZEUS. She was so NOT thinking that right now.  
  
"Er.........well.........what would like then?" He was rather taken aback by that seductive tone. This girl.........well, she didn't look like the seductive type. Well, Okay, so she looked highly seductive and alluring, but that.........well, yes, that had a lot to do with the way she was making his spine tickle naughtily.  
  
"Hmm. Well, why don't you.........surprise me." Did she really sound that perverted? Even she was blushing. Well, OK, so she wasn't blushing, BLUSHING, but she was pretty damn close.  
  
"Er, Okay. Sure." He turned around towards the bar before he remembered something. "But, before I do all that, might I have the pleasure of your name?"  
  
Uh-oh. As soon as he found out that she belonged to one of the most powerful wizarding families in England, the dark hottie would cool off. "Actually, let's keep this anonymous. I'm ... rather partial ... to strangers. You don't mind, do you?" She flashed a charming smile.  
  
A raised eyebrow. "As you wish, Madam."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He returned with a delightfully colored alcoholic beverage. Alyssa eyed it rather dubiously. It was colored like a sunset, and she had never seen such a drink. Were the colors poisons?  
  
"Erhm, sorry to sound so ignorant, but what IS that exactly?"  
  
Her conversant blushed slightly, endearing himself even more to Alyssa. "Well, er, uhm, well........."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
".........It's called Sex on the Beach."  
  
She eyed him carefully. Was he joking? Did it matter? Curiouser and curiouser. She took a careful sip.  
  
"Ah. Delicious. And decidedly less messy than its namesake."  
  
He blushed at her rather lewd quip.  
  
"And, speaking of which, I'm off to France tomorrow."  
  
"I beg your pardon?" What did that have to do with Sex on the Beach?  
  
"Well, I was looking for someone.........to, ah, to help me say good-bye to England, and I'd really like to shag you. Oh, Morgana! I did NOT just say that!" Alyssa moaned, hiding her face with the hand that wasn't holding her naughtily named drink, "I'm sorry, it's just that........."  
  
He looked at her curiously. "Just what?"  
  
"It's just that I'm rather new to this whole bar, sex, one-nighter fling-thing," she whispered, getting redder by the second.  
  
"Oh." Was that all? She was embarrassed about That? Granted, it wasn't the dark wizard's usual modus operandi to take random girls to his bed, but indeed - this woman was too beautiful and charming to pass up. "Well, how about we cure that, eh?"  
  
She looked up at him in amazement. Was he Serious?? "Sure. Another Sex on the Beach, please."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	2. Intellectual Intros & Assorted Sorting

h2o COMBUSTION  
  
authors: "aiyah" and "Leftywrite"  
  
rating: R (innuendos, some of the delish stuffs, the usual)  
  
disclaimer:  
Saving the limerick for the next chapter We sisters hold for JK Rowling a disclaimer Though if you copy OUR stuff, we'll feed you to a raptor As for the first gal who does, we'll maim 'er.  
  
*ahem* gotta love baaaaaaaaaad (think sheep) poetry.  
  
spoilers: up to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire... until further informational tidbits may be gleaned. (this Might include some stuff in Order of the Phoenix... hard to tell, just yet.)  
  
summary: Okai, folks! Time for a mixed creation from aiyah and Leftywrite. The rating's mostly for innuendo. The story features one dark and handsome French guy, a Bulgarian, and two beautiful Hawaiian exchange students @ Hogwarts. Guess what ensues? READ!!  
  
We are aiyah and Leftywrite. And unless you want to be stuck in the Left's creative blender and run over by aiyah's muses (in cleats...with heart- aiming spoons and smug lions with Ultimate Frisbees...), then we suggest that you sincerely stop whatever copying you were even thinking of starting.  
  
Hei, if you weren't, enjoy the fic! ( {this chapter's brought to you from aiyah}  
  
A/N = aiyah;;;LN=Leftywrite  
  
~*Fic starts here*~  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Intellectual Intros and Assorted Sorting  
  
"Draco Malfoy's silver eyes wandered around lazily."  
  
"No, no," he told himself mentally. "That sounds like they've popped out of my head and were strolling along the table." He reformed his tattered thoughts, penning a new sentence into his journal:  
  
"Draco Malfoy's silver eyes gazed coolly at the scene before him."  
  
Perfect. It was subtly cliché, but aptly met the standards of an aspiring writer. Then he scowled. What was he doing with all this pish-posh fiddle- faddle, anyhow? Malfoys didn't write. Except for his mother. And her insistence that he start writing. His maternal grandmother was suffering from Alzheimer's Disease - couldn't even remember where she'd last seen her youngest daughter. It was a nasty shock, learning that muggle diseases could invade the wizarding world.  
  
Draco's reverie was broken by a loud bump, similar to a large bird smashing into a large window. His wondering "What was THAT?" was then cut short by the Headmaster standing up. "Welcome to Hogwarts," Dumbledore regally said. "A 'Welcome Back' to those returning, and a brisk 'Hello' to those of you here for the first time. I have just a few announcements: first of all, as Mr. Filch has reassured me, the Forbidden Forest is, as always, off limits to those who do not wish to die a most uncomfortable and untimely death.  
  
"Secondly, we have a lovely addition to our staff in the person of Miss Hecate Luna, seated two seats to my left. She will be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. I suggest you do your very best not to anger her; a peeved Luna is quite the dangerous scene.  
  
"Thirdly, Hogwarts has joined an exchange program, designed to promote healthy relations between various schools. We have the pleasure of two students from Europe, namely Vincent Krum from Durmstrang and Cadence Cardiff from Beauxbatons, as well as two students from the United States: Kahalani and Iwailani Lei, from Hawaii's Ho'okalakupuna Academy. They will joining the Sixth Year class, and they shall be sorted temporarily into Houses before the First Years. Would you four please stand up, so we can greet you with our applause?"  
  
Two figures stood. One was stoop-shouldered and hunched over with a craggy nose and jawline, with a dark sort of look. Ron Weasley nudged Harry Potter. "I bet that one's Vincent. Looks just like his big brother, he does." Harry nodded. He knew Ron had held a deep admiration accompanied by an angry edginess around Viktor Krum, the great Bulgarian seeker who had competed with Harry in their Fourth Year. Viktor had competed with Ron, too, in a way. Though no one knew it yet.  
  
Harry's attention turned to the second figure. A very wiry character, the boy had long, dark, wavy hair pulled up in a macho, biker-boy ponytail. He was pale, very pale, as if he had never seen the sun. What really bothered Harry, though, was the boy's nose. It was slightly, okay Maybe handsomely, out of proportion. It was freaking Harry out-after Snape, big noses always did. Though, compared to Snape, This boy had a button.  
  
But where were the other two students? Dumbledore had only mentioned one last name, so they had to be related.  
  
A huge bang sounded as the Great Doors burst open to emit a flurry of feathers, a dark red streak and a silver streak, glimpses of fluorescence, and a whiff of sunblock in coconut trees with a dash of pineapple. In short, the missing students had arrived.  
  
"Professor Dumbledore! Sorry we're late! We're com-" Two voices and the rapid movement to the Professor's table were suddenly cut short with a squawk and a howl as the two girls fell forward in a jumble of broomsticks, tropical birds, and hot pink luggage.  
  
Immediately, the silver streak stood up. With a belabored sigh, she surveyed the scene and shrugged, bending to pick up a .cockatoo? "And so enter the great Kahalani and Iwailani Lei. I'd say you especially had a nice 'trip,' yea?"  
  
The dark red jumped to her feet as well. "Yea, indeed. Well, you did want to make a good entrance, Iwai. At least we went through the right door this time." She began gathering up their .yes, it Was hot pink. suitcases. "Macadamia, are you all right?" she crooned to the brightly colored .toucan?... in a gold cage.  
  
Draco had never seen a bird-of-paradise before - unless one counted those silly pictures in books for three-year-olds. The girls themselves looked like exotic animals - a flavor of the tropics. They both had almond-shaped eyes and dark-ish hair. Somewhat pointy ears. Small - a bit above a meter, but not much. As sisters, they looked somewhat similar, but the differences were far more noticeable. The dark one was 'dark' because of her black halter top, short skirt, and purple mascara. Her hair was black, with ruby- red streaks. Tangerine-colored beads lined her wrists, onyx hoops dangled from her ears, and a garnet hung around her neck on a black cord. Curvy, yet wiry. She moved with an intense energy, almost like a fire. A devil in stiletto black boots?  
  
Draco's gaze turned to the lighter girl. Her hair was also black, but had silvery-white highlights. Her top was white, with a hint of iridescence, and it flowed to a bell-shaped framing around her wrists, which sported turquoise links. Her long skirt was a shimmery blue, but as she moved, Draco could catch hints of long, slender legs through a scandalous slit up to her mid-thigh. Her earrings were silver drops. She moved fluidly, with a smooth yet natural grace. Willowy, yet tiny. A slightly metallic white around her eyes, and a soft, shimmer pink on her smile. She was a perfect angel.  
  
Both girls were exotically and absolutely beautiful.  
  
Iwai shook her head. "Honestly, Khani. No matter how big a pane of glass is, if it doesn't have a doorknob, it's still a window." She suddenly became aware of the curious crowd of eyes. "Oh. Aloha. Er. Hello? How do you do?"  
  
"Silly goose! There he is." Khani pointed to Dumbledore. "Greetings, Headmaster. I'm Kahalani Lei, from the Ho'okalakupuna Academy in Hawaii. This is my sister Iwailani. Thank you for your hospitality in allowing us to visit your esteemed Hogwarts."  
  
Iwai suddenly started giggling. Khani turned to her. "Er. Iwai?"  
  
"It sounded like you're sightseeing among his pig-pimples!!" With a final hiccup, she finally settled down. "Thanks for inviting us, Professor Dumbledore. Sorry for the mess - we'll get it cleaned up in a jiffy." She muttered a charm, waved a white wand over head in a figure eight, and the menagerie of goods sprang into an obedient column behind her.  
  
"Very nice." Dumbledore had maintained his stately composure, but Iwai could swear that his eyes were twinkling. Seemed like a good-hearted, grandfatherly gentleman guy. "If you will sit at the table with the other exchange students, Miss Lei and Miss Lei, we will let the Sorting Hat determine where you both shall reside during this.trip. And now, let us welcome all of our exchange students with our applause."  
  
Khani grinned. The old man had not gotten furious. They hadn't broken any bones. She was overhearing murmurs of delicious-looking students with yummier accents. It was going to be a good day. Iwai was blushing at the cat calls and whistles that accompanied their walk to the seats. As they sat down, Dumbledore started a speech on advanced classes, talking with professors, etc. Iwai listened attentively at first, then yawned. "Hello," she said to the guy across from her. He grunted, then turned to face Dumbledore. Big chap, though a wee bit on the disgruntled side. Looked almost hunchbacked. Resigned, she turned back to the Headmaster's speech.  
  
"That doesn't really apply to us, you know," came a soft, yet rich and .uniquely. accented voice. Iwai turned to her left. Ooooh. hotness alert. Pale, kinda long-ish nose, but dark blue eyes and - aha! Long hair. Though long hair was more of Khani's fetish. But it looked astounding on him. Definitely a plus. At the same time, "What do you mean it doesn't apply to us?"  
  
The guy smirked. "We're new here. Even if we've been placed among the sixth years, obviously we're going to take placement exams before we settle down. Or do you Americans just jump right in whatever fracas happens to be most entertaining?"  
  
Oof. So much for hotness. Iwai was extremely turned off by the proverbial know-it-alls. *sigh* It was too bad - sounded like half English and half French. An interesting twist, but not worth overcoming an ego bigger than his nose.  
  
"Actually," came a cool retort from her right, "We Americans make a habit of introducing ourselves before insulting others through our oral orifices. I'm Khani, and this is Iwai. You are?"  
  
The guy looked startled, then stared openly at Khani. Cadence had noticed the light - no, silver-haired - girl because of her pretty proximity. However, this fiery maiden next to her - ah, yes. She would be most interesting. He gave a rare smile. Ouch - those muscles were severely out of practice. "Cadence Cardiff, mademoiselle. Introductions are a common custom among the students at Beauxbatons, as well. I beg your pardon for my breach of habit." In a swift motion, he snagged each girl's hand and kissed it.  
  
Iwai looked at her twin, eyebrows raised. "Smooth," her eyes said. Then she remarked, "Beauxbatons, eh? Is that French, Cadence?"  
  
The smirk was back. Iwai groaned. "Egad. Some people try to make a Bit of a conversation for politeness's sake, and other people make a Big deal out of clarity. Quit smirking already. Please."  
  
Cadence was surprised once more. These girls very much did Not have the studied grace of the Beauxbatons' students. And his smirk had charmed the daylights out of several of the poodle-perfect Frenchettes there. These two were quite different. Must be the American-ness. "It is indeed French, Mademoiselle Iwai. I apologize for any 'Big deal' my smirk might have caused."  
  
Iwai grinned. "Don't worry about it, hot shot."  
  
Capricious creatures. Cadence suddenly found himself asking, "So. Which one of you is older?"  
  
Almond-shaped eyes mirrored each other's epicantal glances. Khani broke the silence. "I'd have thought it was obvious, but maybe not so much anymore."  
  
"Yes, that." Iwai looked a trifle perplexed.  
  
"We're twins, Cade - can I call you Cade?" Her eyes raked across his long hair. Khani had a devilish smirk. Cadence thought it quite unfair - she really had a flair for that sort of half-smile.  
  
"But of course," he replied, filing his reasons for this inconsistency with his icy façade away for later.  
  
"We were actually born in two different years, though." Iwai said, thoughtfully. "Khani's on December 31st, and I'm on the first of January. Eight minutes can make all the difference sometimes, yea?" She smiled.  
  
"You're elemental twins." A new voice interrupted their conversation. Vincent Krum was staring at them oddly. The almond-shaped-eye-considering- glance hit him full force, simultaneously. "What?"  
  
And then the Headmaster was calling them: "Mr. Cardiff? Mr. Krum? Miss Lei and Miss Lei? Would you all please step over to the Sorting Hat?"  
  
As Professor McGonagall lifted the black triangularly-peaked cloth, the Sorting Hat suddenly sang out:  
  
"Longer than I can remember  
  
Or you remember as well  
  
I was made by four magical people  
  
Rare wizards who could tell  
  
Exactly who should go where  
  
For if you are  
  
Strong and wise, with courage evermore  
  
For you lies the House of Godric Gryffindor  
  
The Clever of mind and handy with Charms  
  
Are true Ravenclaws who know how to disarm  
  
Being True, hard-working, and loyal  
  
A Hufflepuff can combat the evilest gargoyle  
  
Whereas Sly of smile and Wise of heart  
  
These two qualities set Slytherin apart.  
  
So step up and set me on your head  
  
And listen to have your mind read  
  
Hear your characteristics unbound  
  
And listen to be sorted and found  
  
BY YOUR TRUE HOUSE!"  
  
Professor McGonagall walked over to the Sorting Hat Seat. "The new Sixth Year exchange students first. Alphabetically, as always. Cardiff, Cadence!"  
  
Cadence approached the seat. It was a stool, really. His mother had mentioned nothing of this "sorting" process. Ah well. Best be done with it. He loathed being the object of many eyes. However, it happened often enough that he was getting quite used to it. With the studied poise of the French combined with the gentlemanliness bred into him by an English mother, he sat down smoothly. {Almost like a panther.} Khani thought. {And that hair! An eye-candy yum.} Cade was thinking, {By the gods. What is the matter with these British and their staring?}  
  
"They do this to everyone, student," came a voice in his ear.  
  
Cade was startled, but severely disciplined reflexes prevented him from showing any signs of perturbation. "Oh, really?"  
  
"Yes, quite. Hmm. a boy of such sleek composure, but I know you've got a serpent's sharp tongue. And some wit in that head of yours. Maybe. Somewhere. And treasuring that which is dark and beautiful and all that bit. Ah well. here you go: SLYTHERIN!!!"  
  
Slytherin. The house of the snakes. A white-blond-haired boy gestured to the seat across from him. Cade placed his rear on the seat almost liquidly. Though honestly, the smooth-grace-bit was getting a bit tiresome. The guy's grey eyes regarded him thoughtfully. "Welcome to Slytherin."  
  
Anything else he might have said was duly interrupted by McGonagall's call. "Krum, Vincent!"  
  
The hunched-over-craggily-disgruntled boy stood up and walked over to the Hat. It settled peaceably on Krum's head. A vague muttering was heard, and then the cloth roared, "HUFFLEPUFF!"  
  
Ron was astounded. "Blimey. You'd think all of the Durmstrang sort would be Slytherins. Weird one, that hat."  
  
Hermione turned to face him. "You never know, Ron. Though you were following Viktor happily enough when he was here. In the beginning anyway."  
  
Ron growled. Any reply he would or could have made, however, was cut short by McGonagall calling out, "Lei, Iwailani!"  
  
Ron's interest was refreshingly renewed with another topic. He nudged Harry once again. "Wonder where That one's going to go, eh? They're both so amazingly - "  
  
Hermione shushed him with a vengeance.  
  
Iwai walked fluidly over to the stool, calming her nerves by letting tranquility flow through her veins. Truthfully, she'd expected Khani to go first. The elder twin and all that. Oh well. though she really didn't like hats.  
  
"It's all right, you know," came a wise {or was it 'wizened'?} voice.  
  
Iwai's lips twitched. "Okai, but only if you say so. I'm sure you know best."  
  
She could hear a wide, toothy grin - that is, if hats could grin. And if you could hear a grin. What sort of imagery was that, anyway? "I always do. You definitely have a 'light' quality about you, girl. Not only in the way you dress, but in the choices you make. Light in the midst of dark. Bright courage in the dark. If you let yourself pull through. In fact."  
  
The Sorting Hat burst into song: "Fun, yet simple to sort are you A Gryffindor, both brave and true You flow like rivers, yet you are strong And to courage kept, you do belong You are water, your twin is fire I'll put you where you'll most inspire A link between two houses torn Will appear whence you erode the scorn. GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
Iwai was surprised. Sorting seemed like an eternity, yet no one seemed bored. Must be like Einstein's Theory of Relativity - the one where an hour seems like a minute when you're talking to a pretty boy, and a minute seems like an hour if you're sitting on a hot stove. She shook her head. Was there actually room for science in a magical place like this? McGonagall nodded at her. That had been {Such a weird tune.} Iwai had barely any time to think before abruptly flowing to the red and gold Gryffindor table, amidst many cheers. She started blushing. This was so sweet! A cute staring boy patted a seat next to himself. "Hi," he said congenially. "I'm Harry."  
  
Unfortunately, that's all he had time for. McGonagall called out, "Lei, Kahalani!" Iwai promptly ignored the rest of her surroundings and focused on her twin. The sorting hat fell on Kahalani's dark red-streaked strands with an "oof!"  
  
Khani had watched her sister curiously. {Well, might as well get it over with.} were her thoughts as the Hat was duly emptied. {Save a seat for me, sweetie,} she called mentally. They'd shared so much, it was quite logical that they'd be sharing a room, too. But on the whole, it was quite nice to have someone so close to share so many things. From clothes to jokes. Her thoughts were immediately distracted by a chanting old man. Or was that the Hat?  
  
"Ah, a difficult mix to brew A mix of all, but would this be new? Twins I often send to one But you're different as the moon and sun One is dark, the other light Shine in either - your fire is bright Your twin is water, you are fire You want to fight a place most dire A link between two houses torn Will appear whence you erode the scorn. SLYTHERIN!"  
  
Khani let out a tiny gasp just before the hat announced its decision to everyone. Both pairs of eyes wide with disbelief, Iwai and Khani looked at each other. Different houses?? What?? They had always slept within five feet of each other, and now a whole school would be half-worlds away. A black-robed teacher led Khani over to the Slytherin table.  
  
"It's not all that bad, you know." Khani looked at him, aghast. With a knowing smile, and a swirling of the robes, he retreated.  
  
Meanwhile, Iwai heard a soft "ahem" as someone cleared his throat next to her. Eyes still wide with confusion, Iwailani Lei let her gaze fall on Harry Potter. Optical sea foam darkened with seaweed greens met sympathetic cat-green eyes. "The Hat almost put me in Slytherin, too. You can aspire to be great in either house; they just prize different aspects." He grinned. "Your twin looks like a powerful girl. The Slytherins might need her there."  
  
Iwai puzzled her puzzler. There would be much to discuss later.  
  
"Welcome to Slytherin." A peroxide blond guy motioned Khani to the seat next to the Beauxbatons guy. Not bad placement, overall. it was nice to know someone in the middle of being torn away from the person you knew best. Grrr. how very aggravating.  
  
"What's the what with this 'Welcome' bit, man?" Cade broke in. "Who are you? The alpha-male of the Snake house?"  
  
Peroxide-tresses smirked. "You could say that. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. I'd assume that everyone knows who you all are now, Mr. Cardiff and," he paused, "What was it that charming creature called you? Ah yes. 'Khani'?" The now-silver eyes of a white-blond guy gazed at Khani irreverently, almost as if he was eying a piece of chocolate and wanted a taste.  
  
"Okai, bleach-boi," she flippantly retorted. "I'm Kahalani - otherwise known as 'Khani,' but only if I allow you to even whisper that. That's my sister, Iwai - we're the smartest hooligans you'll ever meet, and we work well as a team. That includes academics AND kicking the shiznit out of guys who overstep their boundaries. So keep those roving eyes to yourself, mister. And while you're at it -- get your face a new nose-job and your hair a new rinse."  
  
The tirade was perfectly interrupted by Dumbledore's last words. With pedantic warnings about staying in one's wing and following the prefects' orders, Dumbledore also mentioned the overly erratic tendencies of the staircases to jiggle around this time of year.  
  
"Lovely," Khani muttered. "The staircases have seasonal allergies." Cade's eyes flicked to her. Refreshing, really, especially after a semi-decade of French fluff.  
  
The First Years were then sorted into their own prospective houses.  
  
Harry took that time to introduce Iwai to the other Gryffs. "Iwai -am I saying that right?-this is Ron Weasley - his brothers, Fred and George, are over there. They're twins, too." All three redheads nodded at her. Fred (or was it George?) winked. Ron took her hand. He looked like he was about to kiss it, but then yelped "Ow!!" and promptly let it go. "Err,,, Iwai, that's Hermione. She's the smartest girl in school."  
  
Iwai was puzzled. Quite a recurring theme of the evening. The bushy-haired brunette looked embarrassed, but did extend her own hand. "Hi, Iwai." She smiled.  
  
Fred and George suddenly butted into the conversation. "So what's it like to be Elemental Twins?" they asked in unison. Looking at each other, they laughed, then returned their attention to Iwai. She grinned. A gentle "plop" sounded as a somewhat pudgy boy turned into a canary.  
  
Soon they were all engaged in a playful, all-encompassing conversation. Of course, of course. New girl equals curiosity, especially if the new girl had twin. Everyone had questions about Hawaii, and Iwai was as energetic as a splashing wave. She certainly used her waving hands to illustrate her points. Her sister always described her manner as alternately frivolous and serious, like a bubbling brook and a tidal pool in a river's path. Both of them waxed somewhat poetic at times. The guys all thought she was fun and beautiful. Well, that's what some tiny redhead told her later. Cute thing, really. Tiny didn't quite cut it - Iwai and Khani were only 5'0".  
  
Harry found himself getting closer to her as the dinner stretched on, especially after she'd disclosed a fantastic anecdote about the twins' fifteenth summer, which included a pineapple, a lifeguard, a magenta- colored beach towel, and tofu. Even Hermione was able to overcome her initial wariness, and asked, "What's tofu?" As Iwai animatedly explained about this soy-bean delectable, Harry wondered: Magnetic attraction? Maybe. His hair was dark to her light, but he could sense that they would share the same green-eyed view on many topics. He was curious. very curious. Although. he caught a glimpse of Cho Chang at the Ravenclaw table. She gave him a little smile, and a wave. He started blushing again. What was it with him and Asians?  
  
Cadence and Khani had ignored Draco until his somewhat abject yet objective apology. Even then, Khani had accepted with a regal, yet fiery "Okai, okai. You're forgiven, already!" Thinking, { how very strange }, Draco passed by the Gryffindor table on his way to the loo. Ah... Weasley and Potter. Time to start off the new year. He leaned towards Ron. "Don't think that having a twin in Gryffindor makes a difference with that one, Weasley. She's evil at heart, and has the mouth to prove it." He smirked devilishly. "A very attractive one, at that."  
  
Iwai's mouth turned into a set line. What an arrogant beast. "Of course she's attractive," she said quietly. "But evil at heart? Dearie, you've got to be kidding yourself. I'll bet Khani has higher morals than Dumbledore himself." Then she smiled sweetly. "I'll bet she's got you quaking in her designer boots. Don't forget, boi. You're playing with fire - don't get burned Too quickly."  
  
Draco's attention was immediately caught by this lovely silvery girl. Her streaks highlighted her midnight tresses, her legs peeked through a delectably tasteful slit, and her lips looked extremely kissable. He wondered what it would be like to try. The dark girl was sharp, but made him feel somewhat uncomfortable with her offhandedness. They both were beautiful, but there was something. uncannily familiar about this one.  
  
Iwai gave a short gasp. Her image was in his eyes. She caught her reflection for a split second before it blended in.  
  
"You'd better leave, Ferret," came the calm voice next to her. "Unless you'd like our assistance with that? Gryffindor, at least, treats guests hospitably."  
  
"Ah, getting territorial, Potter? Don't get too temperamental. Or possessive." Draco's eyes now had a speculative gleam. Then he inclined his head with a smirk. "I'm only on my wayward path to the loo." With a sudden bow, he said, "Welcome to Hogwarts, Miss Lei - or rather, 'piggy pimples' at its best." A swirl of the robes, and he was gone.  
  
Ron's mouth dropped open. "If I didn't know any better," he squeezed out, "I would have sworn Malfoy made a joke. Was that what it was?"  
  
Iwai sighed. "No, I'm sure he was only making fun of me. Let's just enjoy dessert, shall we?" Honestly. There was a bully in each school they'd been to. Granted, this was an extremely hot of a bully, but egads - she had met two arrogant beasts and they were both in Slytherin. Was there a pattern here?  
  
A blonde suddenly rose from the table. "Hello, everyone. I'm Katie Bell, and I'll be one of your prefects this term. Please follow me. I'll lead you to your rooms."  
  
And with that, the introductions were over. 


	3. A Prelude to Wise Advice

Disclaimer: Sorry y'all. Aiyah and Leftywrite don't own Harry Potter. And just a l'il warning:  
  
Do you like spikes and nails?  
  
How about a brand new tail?  
  
If within these thoughts you don't agree  
  
Then you might as well see...  
  
The senselessness to copy this creative smoothie!  
  
Eh.  
  
~Fic Starts Here~  
  
Around the same time Katie Bell got up, a certain Slytherin with a desperate need of orthodontia stood up at the Slytherin table.  
  
"If you would follow me, I'll take you to the Slytherin dorms," Marcus Flint said, with some difficulty. Having a piece of corn stuck in one's teeth did that. Especially if the corn AND the teeth were of gigantic proportions. "This way then."  
  
Kahalani just stood up and followed him noiselessly. Cadence, on the other hand, did the same to Khani.  
  
She finally noticed him stalking her, halfway to the dormitory.  
  
"What the hell?"  
  
He just looked up, or rather down, at her with a look of pure innocence.  
  
"Something troubles you mademoiselle?"  
  
"I was about to ask you the same thing," retorted Khani, "And I'm not quite sure I would rebuke the 'mademoiselle' part. Honesty, why the frilly heck are you stalking me?"  
  
If possible, the look on Cadence's face got even more innocent. "Stalking, mademoiselle? Oh surely not. I just happen to be in the habit of walking very, very quietly."  
  
"In pretty girls' shadows."  
  
"That too."  
  
"Oh! You! Are you trying to snare me in your little flirting web or something? Because this has distinct over-tones of something like 'Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly'. EEEK!" Squealed Khani. The last was because, unfortunately, their current staircase had an allergic reaction. And that sneeze of marble proportions was unfortunately leading them to...a platform of a most non-existent nature.  
  
Yes, indeed. There was no platform. (ANL: There is no spoon...sorry. Go watch the Matrix after you read this).  
  
"Oh my OLYMPIANS!" Screeched Khani. "What the bloody Elysian Fields are we going to DO????!"  
  
Cadence just looked at her blankly. Olympians? Elysian Fields? Ooh. Greek Mythology. She was into Greek Mythology. Well, that was unexpected. "Um, might I suggest we just stay here and wait for it to change back?"  
  
She turned to him. "Stay here with you, for an undetermined amount of time?" Oh Zeus, Hera, and most of all, Aphrodite. They would either kill each other, or they would end up snogging. Either way, their stay on the congested stairway would, no doubt, lead to a very inappropriate position.  
  
"Unless, you want to make like Spiderman and shoot webs, swinging through the vast, cavernous, marble jungle of piggy-pimples."  
  
She looked up at him, mouth open, eyes wide. "You know Spiderman?"  
  
He snorted. "Of course I know Spiderman. Who doesn't know Spiderman? Even muggle word-processing programs recognize 'Spiderman' as a proper word."  
  
She gaped at him again. "You know what a word-processor program is?"  
  
He sighed. This might take some explaining. "Yes, mademoiselle, even though my mother happens to be a famous actress, I DID take Muggle Studies."  
  
She still gaped at him. "Your mother's a famous actress?"  
  
"OH BOTHERATION!" He fumed, and started going up the stairs, before he realized there wasn't anywhere to go.  
  
"Yes, unfortunately, it is QUITE impossible to ascend into air. Because there is nothing there, but air. HEY! That rhymed!" Oh Athena. She was going stupid-giggly. She NEVER got stupid-giggly. That was Britney Spear's gig. Or her cousin's. She was sure it was the same person.  
  
He turned around and walked over to her.  
  
"You are QUITE annoying."  
  
She smiled at him. "I know. As for you, I never knew Frenchmen were so finicky with their females. Oooh...alliteration. I should be writing poetry..."  
  
He got even closer. In a dangerous, never-get-too-close-to-a-panther- or-else-he'll-bite-your-whatever-off sort of way.  
  
"Most infuriatingly annoying."  
  
She smirked. "And aren't you eating it up with a spoon. I'll bet it's the same spoon you're gonna use to cut my heart out."  
  
"Oh you-you-you-un-mademoiselle!"  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "Is that really the best you can come up with, Waltz? Ooops! I meant Cadence, I really did."  
  
He was gritting his teeth in an even more emphasized I'm-gonna-bite- something-off-and-I'm-not-that-particular-to-what-I'm-gonna-bite way. "Shut. The. Bloody. HELL. Up."  
  
"Oooh, he cussed. Well, pluck your chickens, because you could just knock me over with a feather right now-"  
  
She was really shut up now. Cadence had finally pulled out his secret weapon.  
  
Dear Cupid. He could kiss.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
She was, most definitely and positively knockable-with-a-feather right now.  
  
Where the hell did this kiss (ANL: yay faith hill!) come from? He was all growly and mad-crazy-Frenchman-panther-dude, and then he was all like...damn.  
  
Hot damn with a fresh order of what the hell on the side please.  
  
Seriously. His lips were doing things lips shouldn't be doing. Namely, nibbling at her like she was a candy bar.  
  
Minus, of course, the chocolate, caramel, and fluffy nougat.  
  
Really, was all this nibbly action necessary?  
  
What WAS she thinking? Of COURSE it was!  
  
Even the tongue that was tracing delicate curves around her ear was necessary. The little, panty, hot breaths that were caressing her skin were necessary.  
  
And the mouth on hers was VERY necessary.  
  
And just her luck. The staircase managed to move right then.  
  
Thank god Cadence had a little "Spidey Sense". He actually prevented her from going over the railing.  
  
And that he didn't just let her fall was a wonder in and of itself.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
ANL: Thank you very much for reading! Please go review! And then you're free to watch the Matrix! 


	4. Pickup Lines and Lucky Charms

LN: fantasyangel is definitely cool! { thanks for reviewing, dearie! } AN: Vickie, you rock my world!  
  
-- h2o COMBUSTION  
  
authors: "aiyah" and "Leftywrite"  
  
rating: R (innuendos, some of the delish stuffs, the usual)  
  
disclaimer:  
JK Rowling began our inspiration  
With some Harry Potter jubilation  
Belong to us her characters do not  
Though Leftywrite thinks Alan Rickman's hot  
Aiyah thought up Cadence, and as sisters we'd like to see  
Which one strikes your fantasy ;)  
  
spoilers: up to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire... until further informational tidbits may be gleaned. (this Might include some stuff in Order of the Phoenix... hard to tell, just yet.)  
  
summary: Okai, folks! Time for a mixed creation from aiyah and Leftywrite. The rating's mostly for innuendo. The story features one dark and handsome French guy, a Bulgarian, and two beautiful Hawaiian exchange students @ Hogwarts. Guess what ensues? READ!!  
  
distribution: currently only on www.fanfiction.net - if you want the story, just ask me ( don't take w/o permission, though, unless you want to be pureed in the Left's creative blender and run over by aiyah's muses (in cleats...with heart-aiming spoons and smug crustraceans with Ultimate Frisbees...), then we suggest that you sincerely stop whatever copying you were even thinking of starting.  
  
Hei, if you weren't, enjoy the fic! :oD {this chapter brought to you via aiyah}  
  
A/N = aiyah;;;LN=Leftywrite  
  
~*Fic starts here*~  
  
[Pick-up Lines and Lucky Charms]  
  
Iwai had been lying calmly in her Hogwartian piggy-pimpled bed when inspiration struck. Inspiration of the lightning bolt variety. She whipped out her favorite Sharpie marker and whipped out her Lock-it-up-Locket- Pocket-Diary. There, she inscribed: "Feathers were never really my thing."  
  
Quills. A personal vendetta against them, although the tickling felt of quite the niceness. Iwai thumbed through the miniscule book. Direct quotes:  
  
"I am a waterlogged raindrop."  
  
"Castaway from the storm in the seas of chance."  
  
"It was such a happy little egg..."  
  
"Evergreens and pink flamingos."  
  
"[insert random name here]'s eyes wandered around lazily."  
  
"Feathers were never really my thing. Spoons even less. I mean, seriously - anything that sticks to your nose and flips your image upside down has got to have some ulterior motives." (yea, Lefty! ;) .err. inside joke?)  
  
Iwai stared at the penultimate entry as her lips pursed in a slightly perplexed manner. That sounded like his ocular machinery was meandering along the countryside. Ah well... what was once penned should not be changed. Not in a true diary, anyway. Besides, this phrase was much better than the cliché "His eyes glanced coolly around." Good grief. The "cool" types were so abhorrent.  
  
What rhymed with abhorrent? Oh. torrent. And so began a torrent of tears. Abhorrent torrent? Grrr... no no no. Iwai had to get out of her writing mode. Quickly, she turned over, and promptly started snoozing. And dreamed. Of course.  
  
~~~~ The obnoxiously arrogant yet undoubtedly hot Cadence was strolling calmly (and coolly) through the hallways of Hogwarts. His bedchamber had been too calm for the tempestuous temper he was in, but amidst the creaks of the eternally old school hallways he felt at ease. He allowed himself that uncharacteristic grin, remembering how he'd last cooled his temper. Hot and cold, quenching each other. Quite nice, that.  
  
Suddenly, he felt, rather than heard, a swish. Whirling around with his wand out, his bittersweet-chocolate eyes met with a black-clad shoulder.  
  
"Ah," breathed a silky word on a hidden tongue. "What have we here? A mouse, perhaps, patrolling through the dark? And yet, Mr. Cardiff, you make more noise than any mouse."  
  
Cade reddened. It was the head of his house, the Serpent King. Or was that the Malfish (or was it Mally?) twerp? Yet, this man exuded a familiar sense of dark power. Where could such a darkness come from? It seemed to be centered around his nose. Magic emanating from a nose? A very familiar nose, at that. Cade shook his head, clearing his throat. "I was just traveling to see the stars, sir. In preparation for tomorrow's class. Is the astronomy tower this way?"  
  
"Mr. Cardiff," came the casual reply, "Pupils are not usually allowed out of their beds after lights are extinguished. However, I would rather not suffer the displeasure of taking the first points of the year from my own house. Creep along a little more quietly, and return to your dormitory in no more than an hour's time." He paused, considering. Cade turned to leave when the last words came. "And Mr. Cardiff." Cadence froze. "Take care to only ...glimpse... the dark side of the moon."  
  
Cadence whipped around to face his professor again, but all that remained was a swish of robes, heading in the opposite direction. "Sacre bleu," he muttered. "This school is full of lunatics."  
  
Iwai burst awake from several hectic dreams, desperately trying to grasp at wisps of sleep as they melted away. Fragments of lighting bolts and scars, green eyes and red eyes and silver ones. A forked tongue. Water bursting into flame. A swirl of robes. Had it been a vision? Would it matter? Finally, she gave up with a shrug. If it was important, she'd remember it eventually. And she had a bad case of morning breath. To the toilet it was.  
  
Khani groaned. Her usual sexy-borderling-skanky attire was covered by one of those dark and slightly mysterious robes, and they had tons of static. No one else seemed to be having this inane problem as they all swished around her, heading to random seats. Iwai wasn't in the Great Hall yet. It figured. the gal was always late. Finally tired of the cloth whishing about her legs, Khani grabbed it in handfuls and strode to the Slytherin table. She plopped down, and her morning milk appeared. Cadence appeared immediately, as well. Though not on the table. She allowed herself a quick vision of him on the table. Absurd, but sexy. He had on a crooked smile, as if he could read and was undressing her thoughts. Then, with a rakish grin, he asked, "Are your lips really that kissable, or is it just the face they're on?"  
  
"Good lardie, mister. Try a bit harder on the pick-up lines, would you? Though at least you didn't use my personal unfavorite: 'Crayola should patent the color in your eyes and call it Angel.'"  
  
Cade smirked fabulously in her direction. "How about this one, ma cherie? Hello, my name is Hershey, so would you like a kiss?"  
  
"Ugh. No, my name is Nestle, so go away before I make your bones go Crunch."  
  
"Ah," he replied, "did it hurt?"  
  
"Did what hurt?"  
  
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" He replied quite glibly and addressed her as an afterthought, "Angel?"  
  
"How are you doing?" a voice suddenly broke in.  
  
Khani blinked. It was silver-eyes-the-Snake-king from yesterday. About to sip her milk and not steeled for a quippy answer, she replied reflexively: "Fine."  
  
He smirked. "Yeah, babe, and you look fine, too."  
  
Khani's milk spurted out of her mouth. All over the Malfoy.  
  
"Limpiaticus returnum." He muttered. So much for that one. His hair immediately lost the soggy, milk-battered look as the charm returned his appearance to suave and certain. Though he'd certainly have to think up a better pick-up line.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
A white tank top, silvery-blue skirt, and two pink barrettes later, Iwai arrived at the doors of the Great Hall. Oddly enough, she got a sense of déjà vu, even without the luggage and pink feathers. Just something about the mass of starved pre-adulthood wizards melding with ancient teachers and poppingly good food, maybe. Her gaze flicked to bright red one-strapped top and a tight black leather skirt. A robe was huddled below her seat. Combat boots were certainly in order, as well. Iwai watched as Khani suddenly let out a spurt of milk all over that gray-eyed guy from yesterday. As she walked over to the Gryffindor table, the guy stared blankly at her twin and muttered a few words underneath his breath. In an instant, his sopping hair had returned to its impeccable gelled state. In spite of herself, Iwai was impressed. Not bad, for a guy.  
  
Ron patted the seat between himself and Harry. "G'mornin', Iwai," he said cheerfully. "What'd you want on your plate today?"  
  
"French toast."  
  
At that, Iwai caught a glimpse of her sister with a startled gaze on her fiery face. Khani flashed a peace sign, their twinly symbol for "We've got to talk. And soon." Iwai nodded, told Ron, "Yo - I'll brb as in the 'be right back'." She sauntered randomly to the Great Hall doors, giving her twin a significant glance.  
  
Khani downed the remnants of her udderly delish drink and set the glass down. "If you'll excuse me, guys. I've got a twin to catch." Her combat boots clunked on the floor.  
  
The two beautiful gals met each other just outside the doors. First a stare, then a whoop! And a huge hug.  
  
Khani was first to break in. "So.... What's with ordering ye olde egg- battered bread of the Frenchies?"  
  
Iwai stared at her. "You know I love French toast. What's up?"  
  
Khani turned red. "Oh. yea. I thought you were hinting at something."  
  
Iwai's eyes widened. "Good lardie, Khani. So soon?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're practically screaming the info at me. Girlie, that's a bit on the fast side of the race track. Don't let your heart get trampled."  
  
Khani groaned. "Iwai - it's so totally not like a big deal. And besides, he's, like, a Frenchie. They're so totally like open about anything physical-like."  
  
Iwai shrugged. "Okai. though he's not really a Frenchie. I think his mom was a big movie actress in England - he looks a lot like Alyssa Cardiff; remember her flicks? Something about the wooden hat and the magic wand. or was it the magic hat and the wooden wand? No, that sounds decidedly odd. Eh, I can never remember these things. Anyway, you do realize that you just used 'like' four times in a torrent of abhorrent succession with no grammatical sense? Don't go too far off the edge. Yet, anyways." She paused. "Was he good?"  
  
Khani heaved a dreamy sigh. "Babe, he was heavenly. Of the dark angel variety, with a hint of sin thrown in." She suddenly shook her head. "Dear lard. Am I that obvious? I thought I was playing it off rather charmingly, actually."  
  
"It's only 'cuz I know you so well. Though I must admit, the milk spurt over the Malfoy was a few miles this side of interesting. I told him that he was playing with fire, but I never expected you to put him out. What happened?"  
  
Instead of answering, Khani grinned. "How are you doing?"  
  
"Confused."  
  
"No, no. Answer like a normal person."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Yea, baby, 'cuz you're sure lookin' mighty fine."  
  
Iwai gaped. "Ohmigawd. He so totally did not pull that line."  
  
Khani giggled. "He so totally did."  
  
"You know," Iwai remarked thoughtfully, "my opinion of the platinum git has just gone up exponentially."  
  
"Trust you to drag Math into this."  
  
"Honey, it's Defense Against the Dark Arts that is my specialty."  
  
"Yea, that and calculus and biology. Honestly, sweetie, even with that silvery lining, you're most definitely a nerd at heart."  
  
Iwai grinned. "That's the way to be."  
  
"Yea -- You just need to perfect your chemistry, and it might actually mix up a solution to any guy problems. So who's the rusty redhead you're sitting with?"  
  
"Oh, sister dear. You've already gotten one dark and mysterious Frenchman. With long hair and a half-English, half-French accent to boot. Besides, I think I'll fix up Ron with someone else."  
  
"Okai. So how about dark-haired Mr. Cat-eyes?"  
  
"Harry? Um. maybe. He's sort of sexy. In a sweet, guy-next-door-yet-he- saved-the-world sort of way. And I don't know if his eyes are really 'catty'. it's more of a grassy or plant-ish sort of growing green."  
  
"Mmm. I wonder how Cade would look in a fig leaf.."  
  
"I look absolutely dashing, I assure you, Miss Lei," came the absolutely dashing chocolate-toned voice.  
  
She turned red, then annoyed. "And did I ask an actual question, Mr. Cardiff? I think not. Why are you butting your beak into twinly affairs?"  
  
"I simply bring a gentlemanly ...request. Would you both care to join Mr. Malfoy and myself? We've taken the liberty of magicking up the first meal of the day, highly important for the proper nutritional sustenance, you know. And yet, it's growing quite cold. If you ladies would solve that dilemma by taking breakfast with us, we would be much obliged." He offered an arm to each of them.  
  
"In other words, they want in on our convo," whispered Iwai. They each took Cade's proffered arms and strolled towards the Slytherin table. As they passed by the Gryffs, Iwai said quietly to Harry, "Hei, guysie - See you in class, aiight?" Harry nodded. On his face was a slightly perplexed expression. Then he grinned and winked at her. As Iwai sat down with the snakes, she saw a pretty Chinese girl sit by Harry. His cheeks immediately matched his cherry pie.  
  
Iwai smiled. The effect of her pearly whites on a certain serpent blondie was not lost on Khani. She saw Draco Malfoy give a start, then stare hotly at her twin for a split second. Then his perfect composure reasserted itself and he asked, "And how are you this morning, Miss Lei?"  
  
"I believe I already answered that question, Mr. Malfoy." Khani grinned. "Let's quit the surname business and keep the Khani and Iwai shiznit goin' down. Otherwise, we'd both be paying you twice as much attention as you deserve each time you say 'Lei.'"  
  
Draco smirked. "Perhaps that is why I enjoy all the connotations of your surname. It's 'beauty' in Hawaiian, isn't it?"  
  
Iwai jumped into the conversation feet first. "Sure, why not? Though I think it's got something to do with the braids of flowers we usually use to greet people. The whole 'aloha' thing, you know."  
  
Draco broke into a full grin. "You are so cute and beautiful."* The words came right out of his mouth. Not quite smooth on the writer's block, but dear heavens. had he really just said that aloud?  
  
"Why, thanks. You are, too, you know." Iwai paused. "Do you feel weird if I say you're 'beautiful'?"  
  
"It is a trifle odd, yes." A pause. Any safe subjects minus the blurting? "So. what do you do outside of school?"  
  
"Um, I swim. And play field hockey. And read. A lot. And write. A lot. And duel. Was that it? "Oh yea, and I do kung fu. You?"  
  
Write? Draco's eyes had gone blurry at that word. A writer? A beautiful silvery cherry-yet-practical-and-insane-yet-cute writer? Meanwhile, Khani had burst into the spattered convo.  
  
"Yo - we should so form a kung fu or dueling club."  
  
"Okai, let's. Right at lunch today? What do you have first?"  
  
"Er. potions, I think. With Snap, or something."  
  
"Snap? Like the sound you make with your fingers?"  
  
"Yea. maybe."  
  
Cade broke in. "It's Snape. We've got potions with the sixth-year Gryffindors."  
  
"Oh, good." The twins responded in unison. Then looked at each other.  
  
"We have got to stop doing that." Iwai remarked.  
  
"You're such a dork." Khani agreed.  
  
"Dorker." For the life of her, Iwai settled straight into the standard reply. (Yes, as sisters, we do say this. I know. It's definitely on the 'dorker' side.)  
  
"Dorker? Maybe. but then you're porker."  
  
A blank look.  
  
"Because you were born in the year of the pig. Haha - you snort."  
  
"Oh really? You snort louder, you know." Iwai was getting offended. She so did not snort.  
  
"No, I don't. Snakes don't snort."  
  
"Well, there is the hog-nosed snake."  
  
"Ladies," came a deep, dark, Dove-promise-sort of voice. "I must insist on a brief hiatus, if you will?" They looked up into the whishing robes of the nearest professor. His voice contained the quality of drowning, though his nose would certainly have been a steady rock on which to hang on. "Quite a cliff, that one." Khani thought. Then she asked, "Iwai, what's a hiatus?"  
  
"I'm not entirely sure - either a raucus hurly-burly hullabaloo or a pause."  
  
Khani hesitated. "You do realize that those are two very different things."  
  
Draco smirked. "It's a break. I believe Professor Snape is asking you to take one."  
  
Iwai's eyes snapped to him. "If you can't say anything nice, dearie-boi, don't say anything at all. Give that forked tongue a rest. Sheesh."  
  
Snape's eyes flickered with something vaguely like something found in parks with rollercoasters. (er. . . yea. Synonym for amusement? Couldn't think of one. Ah well.) "Gentlemen, ladies. I believe it is time for class. You would do best to arrive there in a timely fashion." And with a whirl, he disappeared.  
  
A quick silence, then Iwai whispered, "Did you see a faint resemblance to Batman?"  
  
Khani stared. "No, dear. I think you've got your movies confused. He looks to me like the Sheriff of Nottingham."  
  
"Not the nose, the cloak bit. Though I guess everyone's got robes. Hmm. maybe you're right. His voice makes me want to yell, 'Help! I'm a fish.'"  
  
Khani nodded. "Maybe. Some dark urging force." She shrugged and got up from her bowl of Lucky Charms. Amazing, the advertising in the wizard world. "Time to start being magically delicious, twin. See you in class."  
  
*the "You are so beautiful and cute" is a direct quote from Ronnie! ( *muah!* 


	5. Heavens! Ironically, what an entrance

Though JK Rowling owns the essence of HP and etc, this story is the property of aiyah and Leftywrite.  
  
Do not take any  
  
Of our stuff or else we'll be  
  
Very very mad.  
  
(yea, horrible haiku) {this chapter brought to you from Leftywrite via aiyah's typographic skillz}  
  
---  
  
Chapter 4: Heavens! (Ironically, what an entrance.)  
  
Well, they were Going to leave for potions. Something impeded their plans, however. Just when Cadence was passing through the doors, he got bowled over by a space-efficient blonde woman with brilliant blue eyes.  
  
"MUM!" she yelled across the Great Hall. "I was TRYING to summon Sherlock Holmes, but Moriarty popped out instead. And as sexy as the Napoleon of Crime is, he had very stalker-ific tendencies and major halitosis. So I just split and --- Oh, I'm sorry! Did I knock you over?"  
  
Cadence murmured something along the lines of "Oui, Mademoiselle. C'est bien." Followed by some French curse as he looked at the state of his robes.  
  
"Oh, stop being such a baby," Khani muttered as she performed yet another cleaning spell on his pants and pulled him up.  
  
Professor McGonagall strode over to the woman and took her roughly by the arm. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to Ms. Helia McGonagall. My daughter."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Normal people ate breakfast in the Great Hall. "Normal" meaning everyone but Filch, Snape, and Hecate Luna. This morning, the Potions Master had taken an uncharacteristic preview of his future victims, but he and Filch usually ate alone. Hecate, unfortunately, was eating separately against her will. She had severe monthly problems, and Not the kind Stay-free was happy to cure.  
  
Oh no. Every month, normal women got normal problems.  
  
Hecate got those normal problems as well. But she also had complications of black, man-eating proportions.  
  
Yup, she was a were-panther.  
  
Every month, she turned into a female Bagheera. Try doing That with your period.  
  
So Dumbledore, who "wanted to keep student casualties to a bare minimum," had suggested that she go down to the Potion Master's dungeon to procure the feline equivalent of the wolfsbane potion. And perhaps a soothing serum for her cramps.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Severus Snape was assessing his class. Sixth-year potions.  
  
He almost smirked, but held it back. Then he realized that he didn't Have to be decent in class, and allowed a Chesire-strength snickerdoodle smile to flood his face.  
  
Pale bloodless lips, yellow teeth, and all. It was slightly sexy, in an older, black, and evil-icious sort of way. At least that was what Khani thought when she walked into the classroom. That is, until she saw the size of his schnozz.  
  
Slytherin and Gryffindor took their respective seats as Snape strode around, with his hands clasped behind his back, hidden under his swooshy black robes. He was parading around and Iwai couldn't help but think about her fifth-grade English teacher. Wait. Wasn't her fifth-grade English teacher a Nun?? Well, Snape WAS wearing a clerical collar.  
  
Oooh boy. Class was going to be . interesting.  
  
"Another year begins. As such, I am STILL stuck with the dunderheads I taught last year. And, quite possibly, a new installment of feather-headed fools. You, girl--" he pointed abruptly at Iwai - "what is your name?"  
  
"Iwailani Lei, Sister Benedictine."  
  
Snape's nostrils flared to epic proportions. "I beg your pardon?"  
  
Khani started laughing uncontrollably. VERY uncontrollably. She clutched her stomach and bent over in her chair. Unfortunately, this pseudo-asthma attack caught Snape's attention.  
  
"And, you - over there." Something caught his eye - there was a black tattoo on the small of this one's back. "What is this .. this filth??"  
  
Khani straightened up and turned around to face Snape. Flames leapt literally into her eyes. VERY literally. "THAT would be my pentacle. All who look upon it dye."  
  
The nostrils were starting to resemble Mariana's Trench with an engorgement charm. "I BEG your pardon?"  
  
"Is that your come back, or something? No, seriously, the most I'd do is bee-atch slap you for calling my personal mark 'filth.'"  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Snape was so shocked that he had forgotten to take off points.  
  
Instead, he got them started on a catalyst potion.  
  
Which is where Hecate Luna chose to burst into class.  
  
"SNAPE!!! YOU FORGOT TO---"  
  
Hecate's pupils dilated and her face paled as she suddenly morphed into a black, slightly-rabid (okai, very rabid) were-panther.  
  
She might have been trying to say something else (the words "you utter loser" come to mind), but all that came out was very scary, Colgate- smelling roars.  
  
Snape had to do something before she attacked some student. "Sedite morpheus!" he roared above her panther-calls. A neat swish-and-flick of his wand, and the were-panther formerly known as Hecate Luna was lying on the floor in an Aurora-like slumber.  
  
Snape casually slipped his wand inside of his robes. "Class dismissed."  
  
Everyone hurriedly cleaned their cauldrons and scurried out, peering over petrified shoulders at the sleeping wild cat. Snape waited until they were all gone before reaching into his pocket to find the Sinite Serum. He trickled three drops into the panther's mouth, then he stepped back and watched the jungle feline body meld into that of Hecate Luna's. She cautiously sniffed the air for traces of potion.  
  
"I smell cardamom, vanilla, and sandalwood. What the Hades is that?"  
  
Snape gave her a full-bodied smirk with heavy overtones of sarcasm and a hint of amusement. "They were infused in the essence of Unicorn tears to form -- "  
  
"---a catalyst potion. Damn. Okai, Snape." She eyeballed him with a very steely look in her face. "You'd better have the magical equivalent of Midol, or I'll,,,, I'll.." She paused for emphasis. "I'll BITE you."  
  
Snape gave her what she wanted.  
  
Sometimes it was just plain stupid to provoke a menstruating female.  
  
*end chapter 4* 


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